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It's always been a tough life after 18.

I'm a romantic and dramatic person. I love to imagine many good things would happen to me and my dear friends. I love peace, I love everything perfect, everyone's happy.Tat's why i hate death.

I always tought everyone is same like me, at least my mum.

But unfortunately I'm wrong.

Both of us were in a fight lastnight because I said she doesn't respect life, she doesn't care people life, it's selfish. It maybe a little too harsh I know, but I just can't stand the way she comments on people life, and death.

"Good, good lar. The world has too many people now, so better more people die. So the world be peace."

All this comes from my dad. He predict the ice berg is goin to melt in a few years time, because of the destroy to environment, and da-dah... India, Bangladesh, Jawa and many countries would be gone.

I again put my sympathetic on it, says why like dis one.... And my mum says the above words.

I hate it. I feel bad. Since when me and my mum have diff thinking towards people dead? I always think all of this are fate, it should be decided by God. Not us who can give comment on it. But my mum was mad at me saying so, she says y im so 38 leh? I dunno.

Probably I'm too stupid or what, as she says, always too kindheart, easily get cheated by people. At least don't say a GOOD word on people's death. It's cruel when their beloved ones were crying and mourning for the rest of their life while we in the other side say good.

For me its a simple respect and not looking down on people. Just that easy.

Mum, i hope you know what I mean. Have you ever think, what if the same case happen to me? I mean touch wood la, if people did the same thing to me, what would you feel????

shit

I hate it I hate it...

The feeling of loose. I hate it.

I get 2 ungraded in my exam, athought its just and simple and normal exam from the leturer, I still feel suck.

So I plan to drop a subject, an excuse for myself.

But its stupid, I know.

Yes I'm tired, but I didn't finish my homework, my job. So what's the excuse to proof that I'm tired? Hmm, I guess the driving prob. Yea, everyday drivin for 2 hour aint an easy job you know. Plus sometimes you have to face those stupid idiot driver that are jealous in you because you drive a better car than them.

Its just an stupid japan car Toyota, and it's sensor behind is a bit sot sot de.

Yea maybe a girl in my age drivin this caris too high profile or wateva, but you don't need to purposely hon me and scare me isn't it?

Fuck all the stupid drivers.

Stop hon at people especially P Lisence holder again, you will scare them, not teaching them.

Lala

I really hate Gp(General Paper)... Its so hard, I mean, the english is so deep la...

Tuesday have to present something, about music...

Its really hard to do something when your heart is not even in there...

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Everyday watching one of my favourite channel, the E! channel, (76 for astro users), I noticed Ashlee Simpsons. I liked her hair a lot~~ I mean, when she's still black hair, its sooooo cool!!! OMG, okay, so now i cant dye my hair to brown, and its black, I'll cut a new hairstyle like her!

I know its not good to copy someone, lost your own sense of watevar, i dun care, i juz like dat.

haha, tats all...

I wanna change a new style!!! I wan senior fall in love with me!!!

Senior is a guy I had a huge cruch on him since i came iin to this college, he's not handsome, but very charming. Confidents, good in speaking, I just like him

........

I can't accept everyday raining in KL.. So dangerous for me drivin alone...

Still feel very bored... I thought once in college time i will have plenty of time de, can go out shopping... Mana tau, lagi busy.... Shit till... Everyday study till 4pm, sometimes still 8am start class tim, so tired, coz muz wake up at arounf 5...

I dun like my lecturers... Except the econs one, but she's very fierce...

It happens yesterday, its tutorial time. She ask us to answer many hard question, den i sui lo, din bring my book ,borrow from ppl de.. Den when she ask me to explain, I was like, a stupid!!!!!!

So fish la... I hate that feeling... Damn it...

Accounts, a new subject i just added after holiday. So fierce... But oso i sui lo, coz i keep talk and laugh on his lecture class, den he keep stared at me...

I know many new frens and weird frens too...

Is tat a good thing????

damn bored

I always think life is a miracle, life is a great art.

The way u choose to live, isn't it an art??? Everyone have their own pathway, everyone have their choice, in Chinese, I'll say, everyone has their own sky.

I always envy on someone's life, forgot my real life. Like those pretty girls in school, they always get the attention, I guess everyone will be jealous too huh?.. Unfortunately, I dun have special talent, i dun have extra courage to communicate with other ppl, I dun have extra beautiful face to attract people, what I have is me, my own character.

Haha, ya i know I'm talking rubbish.

Jealousy. The most powerful and harmful thing in the world. It can make you do something unreasonable, it can make u a phsyco. It also makes you do many regretfull mistake.

Everyone hates jealousy, but everyone do it.

That's why life is strange, that's why life is excited.

Life with good and bad...




I still dunno wat I'm talking about.

Coz I'm waiting for a fren who always late when we have an appoinment. And I'm in the college CIT Centre rite now with so many ppl and dunno doin wat.





This is wat I call Wat The Fuck.

HATE

Waiting ... Waiting... Waiting...

Hahahaha, so tomorrow, or should i say today? Morning 10am, the NICE Coach will start his journey to singapore. Yes, singapore, tomorrow (or today??) i will be in singapore.

Haha, dun think it's my first time to singapore, no lar, think i'm from forest meh.. Haha, dunno how many times d lor...

Juz dat, get so stressed this few days.

Maid runaway, have to do housework until midnight, no BFFs, everyday kena scold from my mum.

Life SUCKS sometimes.

So I feel like wanna destroy everything sometimes.

Just received my credit card bill. Woah, no joke, RM1500++.

WTF. My salary was only RM500 per month.

My mum was like a bomb when she received the bill.

" what the fuck are u doin rite now? u think u r a millionaire's daughter rite now isit? U think ur mum very rich isit? U think ur father so good ah?...."

Yes, much more worst words came out from her mouth.

And yes, my mum work to earn living for the whole family.And my father is not doin anything.

And he dont even have a proper job. U know what, no income at all

Lotz of bad things bout him. SOmetimes I dun even think he's my father.

He dont even treat me as his daughter also.

FINISH.

~Listen~

Bought the dreamgirls ost, put lots of hopes, but.... Haiz, quite dissapointed when I heard the whole CD.

I bought this because ever since I heard Beyonce's LISTEN, I like it very very much. It's meaningfull, I mean the lyrics. So I thought maybe the whole cd must be nice, but.. Haiz..

Maybe my music taste is not good la, very commercial that type, but I really dun like the other song. Haiz, spend RM47.90 buy that CD, better go and buy Yan Zi's latest album better.

Then I bought Ah Mei's new album again, cannot call it as a new album la i think, its something like special edition, collect all her popular hitz song among this 10 years. Haha, actually I dun really wanna buy it, but ever since I heard one of her song in www.8ka.com, the song Zhen Shi(Truth), wow, I was so addicted to her voice, so powerfull...

One more, SHE's new album, PLAY. Hmm, commercial one, but one song not bad, Shuo Ni Ai Wo(say you love me), lyrics written by HEBE herself, wow, nice.

Of coz the others all as the same as previous one la. BORING.

Ok, habis dah. This week music listening.